iTunes Collection
by CrystalPhoenixFlames
Summary: A collection of oneshots, each with a random song as a theme and a random pair of characters. Enjoy. Current Story: Happy Birthday! Hibari, Hibird
1. Natural Born Pianist?

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Okay, so this random collection of short one-shots will be based on songs in my iTunes put on shuffle. There would be a song as a "theme" and a random pair of characters each time. Enjoy.

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_Natural Born Pianist?_

Song: "Piano Sonata No. 7 in B Flat Major, Opus 83" by Sergei Prokofiev (Yes, this is in my iTunes ha ha! Don't worry; there are a lot of other types.)

Characters: Gokudera, Yamamoto

---

Gokudera was happily reading a book in his room when what sounded suspiciously like piano notes began interrupting the peaceful silence of his room. Grumbling, he shifted on his sofa, trying to ignore the sounds, which were quickly increasing in volume and were practically bouncing off his walls.

When it came to professional music, Gokudera liked the older Classical and Romantic works. When it came to Contemporary… well let's just say he's avoided them so far. Anyway, luckily for the Storm Guardian, this wasn't just a Contemporary piece of music, it was a _fast_ piece of Contemporary music. Getting faster by the second. Frantically getting faster.

Finally snapping, Gokudera jumped off his sofa and stormed out of his room to search for the source of the noise and blow that person's T.V. up or threaten to blow the T.V. up until whoever was watching it switches the channel.

"Who the hell turns the volume up this loud for a crappy piece of music?" he yelled to himself in the hallway as he made his way towards the sounds.

He finally found the source of the noise in the main Vongola mansion complex: behind a sliding door. Preparing his voice and his dynamite for the impending use of fear to stop music, Gokudera placed one hand on the sliding door and wrenched it open to find…

"Yamamoto?" he gasped when he saw the swordsman sitting at a Steinway grand piano, his hands moving like falling rain as he pounded on the keys. A final three notes, the end of piece, threw Gokudera off his feet.

Yamamoto heard the other and turned around, grinning when he say the Storm Guardian. "Oh hey, Gokudera!"

"You… you play piano?" Gokudera stammered, an accusing finger pointing at the baseball player.

"Huh? No I don't. I never even had lessons," Yamamoto answered cheerfully, the trademark grin never leaving his face.

"But… you and… that piano…"

"Oh! Hibari brought this back with him yesterday and said I could play on it if I wanted to as long as he's not here, or else he'll bite me to death for disturbing his peace and quiet. So I was bored… and decided to, you know, hit a few keys."

"What the hell do you mean by hitting a few keys? You just played Prokofiev's Sonata No. 7 third movement!" Gokudera exclaimed.

"I did?" Yamamoto laughed. "Aw, come on, you don't have to lie to make me feel better. I was seriously just hitting notes."

'Don't tell me now he's a natural born pianist too!' Gokudera thought violently, a tinge of jealously edging into the back of his thoughts.

"Play something else," he commanded the other.

"Um… okay… but I warn you… I'm just hitting keys…" Yamamoto said, turning back to the piano. He closed his eyes and took a breath before placing his fingers on the piano…

---

"Ah! Mozart! Katana's don't come from Europe!" Gokudera sat up, yelling. He looked around, confused. "Wait… why am I in my room?" He looked at his table and saw the Prokofiev CD Yamamoto had randomly bought for him for his birthday yesterday.

"Yamamoto!" he yelled.

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Note: Thank you for reading! See you again!


	2. Protein Bars Are For the Birds

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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_Protein Bars Are For the Birds_

Song: "Cautioners" by Jimmy Eat World (This was not what I was thinking when I said "other types"… How in the world am I supposed to write something funny with this?)

Characters: Ryohei, Hibari

---

Sasagawa Ryohei would do anything to get people to join his boxing club. ANYTHING. Combine that with the fact that he was sometimes a little absentminded, we are usually left with some less-than-satisfactory results. Or, in Hibari's case, the results were, in Ryohei's language, "to the Extreme…" Way too much extreme…

So anyway, it was the second day of school for the spring session, and the boxing club captain had somehow forgotten that the head of the disciplinary committee had already rejected his offer to join the boxing club approximately three hours ago during lunch.

"Hey Hibari!" Ryohei shouted as he half crashed through the door to the Cloud Guardian's sanctuary: the rooftop of Namimori High. "Join the boxing club!"

"No," came the blunt reply as Hibari turned around and tried to continue his nap. The percentage of that happening was decreasing at an increasing speed, unfortunately for Ryohei as he walked closer to the prefect.

"I will do anything to get you to join the boxing club!" he declared.

"No. Now get off the roof or I will bite you to death." Luckily for Ryohei, Hibari was a little lazy today and didn't feel like biting anyone to death at the moment. However, if it was really necessary, then…

"Just wait! I'll get you to join someday!" Hibari heard footsteps and a closing door. He sighed and was about to drift off into slumber again when the door suddenly opened again. "Hey Hibari! Join the boxing club!" Ryohei yelled.

"I already told you no three minutes ago."

"Oh… really?" Ryohei seemed genuinely confused.

"Yes, really…"

Ryohei stared at the prefect for a minute, hesitating as he tried to recall. Again, Hibari heard the door close.

'If he comes back one more time…'

The door opened. "Hey Hibari! Join the boxing club!" Ryohei yelled in the same tone with same enthusiasm and at the same volume.

In a flash, Hibari jumped up from the floor and threw Ryohei off the roof.

"Is that a yessssss?" he heard Ryohei yell.

'Damn, he survived…' Hibari walked away from the fence, and after hesitating a little, decided to nap on top of the water tank where Ryohei was less likely to find him. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the door opened, AGAIN.

"Hey Hibari! Join the boxing… huh? Where did he go?" Ryohei looked around. He shrugged and walked away. 'This must be a test for me. I'll show him what the boxing club can do!' he thought with his dying will. At that moment, he saw Hibird fly towards the water tank and spotted Hibari asleep on the structure. "Hm… Hibird… water tank… and Hibari?" He perked up. "I understand now! I must fly up to the water tank!"

---

On Monday, Hibari was once again asleep on the water tank, thinking that it was safest to avoid the rooftop tiles for a while. The sound of flapping wings made him put out a finger for Hibird to land on. That is, until the flapping got louder and louder and… Hibari opened an eye.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Hibari shouted as he sat up.

Ryohei was sitting on a flying… Hibird? It looked like Hibird. Maybe multiplied about a hundred times in size and looking very muscular.

"See! This is the power of the boxing club!" Ryohei yelled. Hibird's massive wings were making quite a lot of noise, so now he finally had a good reason for yelling, not that he talked in a normal volume often anyway. "Join the boxing club and we'll give you all the protein bars you want!"

'So that's why I haven't seen Hibird the past few days…'

Hibari took out his tonfa. "I'll bite you to death…"

Ryohei grinned. "Is that a yes?" Hibari threw him off the rooftop again.

---

"Hey! Big Brother's falling from the rooftop!" Tsuna exclaimed, panicking.

"Wow! That's a big hot air balloon… Do they even allow those around here?" Gokudera said, ignoring the falling Ryohei, who had landed in the bushes again.

"Nah, it's probably just a giant Hibird that Ryohei overfed with protein bars in an attempt to get Hibari to join the boxing club," Yamamoto answered cheerfully.

The three stared at the giant yellow fluff ball in the sky as it attempted to land on someone (Hibari).

"Nah, can't be," they concluded.

* * *

Note: Okay, so I tried looking up the lyrics to see if I could get any ideas. Figures they have to repeat the same stanza three times… XD the connection to the song may be slim, but at least the story's there. Right???

Thanks for reading!


	3. Beautiful Hair

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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_Beautiful Hair_

Song: "Beautiful Fighter" by Chihiro Onitsuka

Characters: Dr. Shamal, ???

---

Dr. Shamal was a man of priorities. He was always the first to volunteer when it came to saving a damsel in distress, or in his line of work, a school girl with an illness or scrape. He was always the first to drink in the morning… at school… He was always the first to find the cure to a rare disease, considering the fact that he already has them in the form of little mosquitoes. He was always the first, not counting Hibari, to fall asleep during school due to the lack of patients. And finally, he was always the first to turn away dudes.

Yup, Dr. Shamal was… oh wait, I forgot one. Ahem… Dr. Shamal was the first, and extremely fast at it, to locate people, as long as they were female and pretty. The only problem was what happened after; it usually ended in a slap or something close to that. So, this is the story of the first time the great Dr. Shamal escaped from the hands of women… wait, what am I reading? Ah whatever, onward!

---

"Did you see? Did you see?" a high pitched giddy voice Dr. Shamal immediately identified as a school girl said to her friend outside his office's door. He edged a little closer, trying to catch snatches of the conversation and maybe their faces as they moved away.

"What's up?" her friend asked.

"Foreign…" Their voices were already fading away. The doctor inwardly cursed at the amazing speed girls could walk at whenever they were jumpy about something. He caught a few more incoherent words and finally the phrase, "Beautiful fighter."

"Hair… so… pretty… envious!" he heard before the two finally rounded a corner.

'Is there a foreign exchange student or something?' he thought to himself.

"Well a 'beautiful fighter' could use a good doctor when she gets hurt," he declared to himself as he left his office in search of the enigma with pretty hair.

As smart as he was with his M.D. degree and years of experience, Dr. Shamal stopped as soon as he stepped outside his office. 'Wait… what if she's a he?"

Smart… Dr. Shamal…

He shook his head and decided that he'd ask around for some information first. After all, theories can only be proven false. Wait, that has no relevance… Anyway, the first victim… ahem, I meant helpful student, told the good doctor that this "beautiful fighter" that Dr. Shamal had so ingeniously decided to describe the mysterious person, was on the rooftop. So he went directly to the rooftop, ready to solve this mystery once and for all.

Taking a breath, Dr. Shamal opened the door to the rooftop with one graceful swing of his arm to see the sunlight catch on golden hair while the wind gently tossed it about.

'This will be my lucky day!' Dr. Shamal thought passionately as he approached the foreigner, ready to lay his life on the line for this "beautiful fighter."

"Hey…" he began and his love turned around.

"Whoa, hey Dr. Shamal! It's been a while!" Dino said, grinning. "Are you okay? You're a little red."

"Uh… I'm good. What's up?" he replied nervously. 'I didn't just mistake a DUDE for a chick… I didn't just mistake a dude for a chick,' he repeated in his head.

Just then, the door behind them opened again, and Dr. Shamal saw the most beautiful silky black hair ever…

"Are you two crowding? I'll bite you to death." The wind shifted Hibari's hair away from his face, revealing a pair of bloodthirsty eyes.

'WHAT?!?!?' Dr. Shamal was speechless.

"Hey Kyoya!" Dino said happily upon seeing his student, but Hibari was already running towards him with his tonfa raised. "Wai… wait!" Dino drew out his whip to counter Hibari, but the weapon instead wrapped around Dr. Shamal. Figures that Romario decided to take today off drinking with the rest of his Family while Dino so stubbornly decided to visit Kyoya himself.

"Ah! I'm sorry!" Dino yelled as he tried to untangle the whip from the doctor. Another jerk of his arm sent Dr. Shamal hurling over the fence.

As he fell, it was then Dr. Shamal remembered that he downed several cups of alcohol this morning. 'Alcohol impairs judgment,' he recalled. 'My manliness is still intact!' he thought blissfully as he fell towards a certain bush that seems to enjoy saving people. Very manly, Dr. Shamal, to be sent falling off a rooftop.

Meanwhile, Hibari and Dino looked through the gate to see if the doctor survived. "Eh… should I import higher gates for your rooftop, Kyoya?" he asked nervously, hoping to distract Hibari from the process of biting him to death. Dino went hurling over the fence a millisecond later.

* * *

??? = Dino (Although Hibari was in it XD…)

Note: Thanks for reading! I'm a little out of it right now lol. Need… better… songs…


	4. Wish Upon a Comet

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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_Wish Upon a Comet_

Song: "Houkiboshi" by Younha

Characters: Yamamoto, Lambo

---

They say that when you wish upon a star, your wish will come true in a horribly twisted way that has no relation to your initial intention. Oh wait… did they really say that? Aw, whatever… So that's what we forgot to tell dear Lambo one day, ten years into the future.

The Thunder Guardian had somehow managed to drag Gokudera with him to go stargazing during their stay in Italy. After standing about an hour… let's estimate three hours to be on the safe side, Lambo was confused, Lambo finally saw a little streak dart across the sky against the black heavens of nothingness.

"Ah, I saw a shooting star. I guess that means I can finally make my wish," he concluded, smiling calmly. After all, being ten years older had cultivated his overly excited personality into one of suave wimpiness. Ignore the last word of that sentence please.

So Gokudera, being the gentleman he is, replied, "They're comets, not falling stars! Sheesh, you people just keep on assuming things. Why am I out here anyway?" That's simple, because the story requires his presence, which, you will find later on, really had no impact whatsoever on the outcome. It was all Lambo's fault. Continuing, the two stood in silence for a little while longer; Gokudera impatiently fidgeted during that little while as he wondered if they could leave already. After all, the tenth was waiting for them at the main base for an important meeting. I wonder why they would go star gazing instead of attending something that could end up deciding the fate of the entire Vongola Family and possibly the world as we know it, but again, that is irrelevant. Unfortunately, Gokudera had somehow been unable to draw the logical conclusion that they should really be back at the base planning the downfall of Millifiore, so he instead ended up asking, "So what did you wish for?" in hopes of getting Lambo to become satisfied with his little "field trip" in nature and allow them to return to the base without much harm. On a side note, the harm would come in the form of dynamite, not from the weapons of random assassins from other Families.

"For Yamamoto-san to throw a little less hard if he happens to pass my horn back to me again. I swear, I had a hole in my head from that time I went back in time…" Lambo returned.

"Idiot. That's like telling him to quit baseball."

"But he already quit a long time ago, so this wish should be fine." He would regret those words.

---

Let's fast forward, oh wait, rewind a little bit: ten years worth of time that is.

"Wah!"

"Stupid cow! Stop crying! You're dissipating our eardrums!"

"Oh come on, Gokudera. There there, Lambo… let's play catch, okay?"

"No Yamamoto-san!"

"Crowding… Prepare to be bitten to death…"

"Wah!" As expected, a giant explosion blasted smoke through the hallway, choking everyone caught in it…

---

"What happened?"

"Stupid cow! First you made me forget about the meeting, and then your past self has to blast us right when we finally made it back to the mansion!"

"…"

"Um… Tsuna, is that you?" Yamamoto's voice said through the smoke.

"What? How come the baseball idiot didn't get blasted?"

"He went to the restroom…"

"Who's the baseball idiot?" Yamamoto asked, confused.

"You!" the older Gokudera yelled at him.

"Huh? Me?" The Storm Guardian could hear the familiar annoying laughter through the smoke. "Did you forget? I play soccer." The smoke cleared, revealing Yamamoto in a _soccer _uniform, holding a _soccer_ ball.

Gokudera pulled Lambo aside. "What did you do to him?" he yelled, completely defeating the purpose of pulling Lambo aside since the others heard him perfectly clearly.

"That… that was not my intention…" Lambo stammered.

"How the hell would Yamamoto use a katana if he plays soccer?" the Storm Guardian continued on his rampage.

"Uh… he can always use a different weapon right? We can teach him."

"We only have five minutes!"

"It's already been five minutes," Hibari cut in, arms crossed and an aura of murderous intent surrounding him.

"Oh… another malfunction…" Lambo muttered.

"Ciaossu." They turned around to see Reborn, thankfully still in his correct time period.

"Hey Reborn, it's been a while," Tsuna greeted him. "Ack!" he yelled when Reborn whacked him with a Leon slipper.

"You should have learned how to control your subordinates by now," Reborn scolded him.

"Hey! Tell that to the younger me!" Tsuna retorted, rubbing his head. "So, do you know how to get back?"

"Account for your actions and teach Yamamoto something equal to his katana skills."

"Wait what?" Tsuna began, but Reborn was already leaving.

"It's your fault! You should teach him!" Gokudera yelled at Lambo.

"What? But…" He didn't finish that line as a tonfa connected with his head.

---

"Ow…" Lambo muttered as he sat up, finding himself in the middle of a forest.

"Hey!" That voice was familiar. Lambo turned to see the younger Yamamoto with his usual grin next to him. "Are you okay? I know Hibari-san knocked both of us out and we somehow ended up here."

"Oh dear…" Lambo said as he rubbed his head. Hibari really didn't know his own strength sometimes, not that he cares.

"Oh, and I found this next to me!" Yamamoto said happily as he held up a pair of greaves. He accidentally pressed a hidden button and spikes suddenly popped out from the smooth metal. "Whoa… is this soccer practice?" His eyes glinted with enthusiasm. In Lambo's opinion, there was too much enthusiasm.

"Um… yeah…" Lambo said nervously. "Put them on. Let's start training."

'Let's get this over with,' Lambo thought. He suddenly lashed out at Yamamoto with his horns in an attempt to draw out the latter's fighter's instinct and effectively received a kick to the face before he had even been able to call out his lightning.

Oh, the smell…

That knocked him out instantly.

---

"I think he's waking!"

"Stupid cow! You alive?"

He heard voices… Lambo slowly opened an eye and found himself in the meeting room of the correct time period. "What…"

"Yamamoto's foot odor knocked you out…" Gokudera said, not trying not to laugh. "For some reason, we all got sent back right after."

"Thank goodness, you're okay," Tsuna said.

They turned when they heard the door open.

"Hey! What did I miss?" Yamamoto asked. Lambo let out an inward sigh of relief when he saw the katana still on the Rain Guardian's back. Until…

"What are you holding?" Lambo gasped, pointing at the black and white object Yamamoto had in one hand.

"Oh this?" He looked at the worn soccer ball. "I tripped on it when I passed your room." He grinned. "I didn't know you liked soccer too!"

* * *

Note: Wao, Yamamoto spent a long time in the restroom…

Anyway, for the record, I would rather Yamamoto keep to baseball. For how this all relates to "Houkiboshi"… uh… there was a comet… in the very beginning… XD Just assume it's a comet and not a meteoroid.

Thanks for reading!


	5. End of the Moska

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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_End of the Moska _

Song: "Meteor" by T.M. Revolution

Characters: Giannini, Dino

---

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Tsuna whispered to Reborn as they followed Giannini through the city towards a specific warehouse on the outskirts of Namimori that the inventor had set aside as a lab for the time being.

"This is training," Reborn told him curtly.

"This is the greatest of my projects! I took the remains of the Gola Moska from the Ring Battles and fixed it up. It's even more powerful than before now," Giannini said proudly.

'This is probably not going to end well…' Tsuna thought miserably. They finally reached the huge warehouse, a huge plain building complete with an equally large door. Giannini went up to the structure and dialed a number onto a hidden pad. After a moment, where Tsuna had wished quietly to himself that the doors had broken, the doors gave a loud creak and began opening.

"Behold…" Giannini announced as the doors opened behind him. "I present to you… the future…" They found themselves staring up into a pair of gleaming red mechanical lens where the eyes were supposed to be. The inventor turned around. "Oh crap…"

"What do you mean by that?" Tsuna exclaimed.

"Eh heh heh… run…" With a loud roar, the machine, nearly three times as huge as the one the Varia had used, broke free of its wiring and started running towards the three, guns raised. Likewise, Tsuna and the others also started running.

"What did you do to it?" Tsuna yelled at Giannini.

"Ah! I just remembered that I've forgotten to switch the identification system from 'Enemy' to 'Ally'! You know the how the Varia had had you targeted!" the inventor shouted back.

The massive machine began firing rounds of bullets at them, which miraculously missed. "Ah! Reborn! Do something!" Tsuna yelled at his mentor as they dodged the bullets.

"I'm out of bullets," Reborn admitted. He nimbly jumped into a nearby tree. "You're on your own for this one. As a leader of the mafia, you should be able to stop it without the Dying Will Bullet anyway."

"Wait! Reborn!" Tsuna yelled, but the Arcobaleno had already disappeared, probably heading back to town for some of Tsuna's mom's cooking. "Wah! We're doomed!"

They were out of the warehouse area now and suddenly passed a flash of flowing black lying on the grass next to the river.

"Wah! Hibari-san!" Tsuna said, relieved. Hibari would definitely get rid of this menace to Namimori. As expected, the prefect immediately jumped to his feet and stood between the rampaging Gola Moska and Tsuna and Giannini, tonfa raised and ready to fight.

The machine ran towards him and in a swift almost dance-like movement, jumped _over_ Hibari.

"Wah!" Tsuna and Giannini yelled as they started running again to avoid being crushed by the landing giant. Looking back, the tenth boss of the Vongola saw that the Head Prefect was back in his original position, sleeping.

"Why isn't Hibari-san helping you?" Giannini yelled.

Tsuna looked around and realized that they were outside of Namimori, having passed the boundary into the next town over. "No! We have to run back to Namimori!" he yelled to Giannini, but they were unable to change direction since the Gola Moska took up the entire road anyway.

As fate would have it, Tsuna tripped on some random rock, crashed into Giannini, and sent them both tumbling to the ground with the Gola Moska quickly approaching. They yelled and covered their heads with their hands, preparing themselves for their imminent doom. Suddenly, an explosion sounded somewhere above their heads, followed by a crash.

Tsuna looked up to see the huge machine on the floor, smoking from the dynamite explosions.

"Tenth! Are you okay?" Gokudera called out, running to him with Yamamoto close behind. "Reborn told us to give you backup!"

Instead of an oral answer, Tsuna pointed to the fallen Gola Moska with a shaking finger.

"Huh?" Gokudera turned around just in time to see the machine getting back up and continuing its rampage.

"Ah!" they yelled in unison as the Gola Moska began chasing them again. Next thing they knew, they were running around in a perfect, rather huge, circle.

"Yamamoto-san, do something!" Tsuna said to his Rain Guardian.

"Are we doing laps? This is good exercise!" came the answer.

"No we aren't, you baseball idiot!"

"I'm sorry!" Giannini added to the yelling.

Suddenly, a flash of gold announced gallantly and confidently, "I'll save you!" and tripped, right in the path of the circle. The machine continued its pursuit of the others, completely oblivious of the newcomer, and as a result tripped over the fallen Dino, tumbling into the river. They watched as the Gola Moska twitched a little before becoming completely still as sparks flew from it.

"I must make sure to make it waterproof in the next design…" Giannini said to himself.

"See! I told I'd save you!" Dino said from his spot on the ground, still a little dazed and sporting a wide goofy grin on his face. Tsuna laughed in relief.

"Littering in a river that flows into Namimori?" they heard a new voice. "I'll bite you all to death."

So at the end, Tsuna and the others ended up banged up anyway.

* * *

Note: Thanks for reading! It's all spontaneous crack ha ha! Whenever I'm bored, I write, and this is the crazy result XD.


	6. Stuck in Paris

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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_Stuck in Paris_

Song: "Home" by Michael Buble

Characters: Ryohei, Hibari

---

"Let me get this straight… you missed your plane…"

"Yes…"

"Decided to take a nap by the river outside of town until the next flight…"

"Yeah…"

"And then forgot the way back and need one of us to pinpoint your location?"

"Yes…" Hibari tapped his foot impatiently; if he had to explain this a fourth time to the Sun Guardian, he might as well wait for someone else to return to the main Vongola mansion and give him directions back to the airport. He already swore to himself by the third time that he'd bite Ryohei to death as soon as he got back.

However, instead of the, "What did you say again?" that the Cloud Guardian was expecting, Ryohei laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked dangerously.

"You're as forgetful as me!"

Hibari chucked the phone into the river. 'I'll find my own way back!' he thought. Looking around again, he almost regretted disposing of his remaining connection to the Vongola base. Furious at missing the plane earlier, Hibari had told Kusakabe to stay at the airport and phone him an hour prior to the next plane. Needless to say, his subordinate's phone conveniently ran out of batteries, and Hibird was nowhere to be found. Hurray for technology. Oh wait, Hibird's not technology… Hurray for the _alauda arvensis_ (1); yes I'm blaming Hibari for getting himself lost. He just remembered he left Hibird back at the mansion.

After walking on foot for an hour or so, Hibari finally reached Paris. At least, he was pretty sure it was Paris; there was a giant Eiffel Tower in it after all. Civilization! 'The airport was supposed to be north-east…'

So the Cloud Guardian walked and walked and walked and… finally realized that he had passed a few thousand cars, people, buildings, and dogs, but no taxis. He could not think of any logical explanation of why there wouldn't be taxis in such a big city in France, so he settled for looking for a phone, intending to attempt calling the Vongola mansion in Italy again.

It was stifling, the people. Everywhere he turned, he saw people. He had repressed the natural instinct over the past years, but right now, the combination of annoyance and a small tinge of panic… oh wait, Hibari doesn't panic… Anyway, he wanted to bite everyone around him to death: the crowd of tourists noisily taking photos, the couple walking down the street, and the mouse wearing a chef's running across the street.

---

"Breaking news! We have live coverage of a madman…" the T.V. blared as Ryohei walked past it.

"Hey, what are you watching?" he asked Tsuna, who was gaping at the television.

"…as of now, there have been no reported deaths… we are sending the army…"

"Oh yeah! Hibari called earlier because he got lost!" Ryohei told the Tenth.

"He what?" Gokudera laughed, walking into the room. His face fell when he saw the news. "Ryohei! What did you do to him?"

"Uh… I think I remember laughing at him…" Ryohei said, thinking. Meanwhile a few people flew across the screen.

"How are we going to censor something like this?" Tsuna lamented.

"You messed it up, now go and bring him back, Lawnhead!" Gokudera yelled at Ryohei.

"Okay! Okay!" Ryohei agreed and ran out of the room.

---

"Where to?" the taxi driver asked when Ryohei going into the car after his flight.

"Paris."

"Huh? You're a strange one. I thought most people who took planes to Rome would go to Rome…"

Ryohei hesitated. "I'm not in France?"

"You're in Italy, sir."

"Oh…" He brightened up. "Well let's go to Paris then! Drive to the extreme!"

---

"Get ready!" the commander yelled to the others in the radio. "He's coming our way!"

The soldiers watched nervously from the safety of their tanks as the dust cleared away in the horizon, and the man walked slowly towards them, tonfa covered in blood, dust, and chocolate cake.

"Fire when I get to zero!"

"Yes sir!" they yelled in unison.

"3…" Hibari was getting dangerously close.

"2…" The soldiers tightened their grips on the triggers.

"1…"

"Zer…" A giant yellow fluff ball the size of a tank descended from the heavens and landed on their target. A loud boom echoed throughout the streets as dust cascaded through the air and blinded the soldiers.

"Hibari! Hibari!" Hibird said happily before hopping off.

Dazed, Hibari slowly sat up, his suit covered in dust and feathers. He looked at this old companion for a second before regaining his senses.

"Did Ryohei feed you protein bars again?" he asked quietly.

The bird nodded a yes, and chirped his name again before singing the Namimori anthem.

A taxi suddenly broke through the tanks, rolling over one as a ramp, and flew through the air towards the Cloud Guardian, who was still sitting, and Hibird.

Hibari chucked a tonfa at it.

"Driving to the extreme!" Ryohei yelled before the weapon went through the window and smacked him on the head.

---

"So… why exactly did you take Kusakabe's phone?" Tsuna asked Reborn a week later. "And you didn't let us pick up the phone when Hibari-san called… and I'm betting that you gave him the wrong flight time to begin with…"

"And I also booked all the taxis in Paris and ordered one our special units to move Hibari to the other side of the river while he was sleeping." Reborn continued for him.

"Why?"

"It was training." The Arcobaleno smiled.

"Do you know how much we paid in bribery to cover it up?"

"Hibari had to learn not to leave Hibird at the mansion."

"That's it?"

"Hibird stole one of my cookies last time Hibari left him here."

* * *

(1) = scientific name for skylark… I think…

Note: Okay, I know I have my geography all wrong. I know there are at least 2 airports in Paris, both a considerably long distance away from the city for walking. Just assume Hibari walked really fast, ya? Ha ha I need to do more research… but Biology research total killed my research portion of my brain. Updates will still be a little slow till the end of the week.

Thanks for reading!


	7. Mission Beach

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

* * *

_Mission Beach_

Song: "Forsaken" by Within Temptation

Characters: Tsuna, Dino

---

The time has finally come. Tsuna was already busy counting his numbered days on this earth as the weekend approached even though in the past, it held the position of his greatest solace from everyday school life. No, Reborn had done it now. The Vongola Decimo couldn't even begin to fathom how his tutor could make the weekend, this one thing that inventors of school did correctly, seem so distant and foreboding.

The others noticed that their boss remained unusually quiet during school hours and during the walks home on the second day of the week, and his two faithful Guardians finally decided to join forces to figure out what exactly bothered their boss. Oh wait, I take that back, they made it a "competition". That's the same as joining forces right?

Gokudera tried first. "Hey Tenth!" he called out cheerfully the third morning. "What's up?"

"Ah, Gokudera-san! Good morning!" Tsuna answered, trying to keep a straight face.

"Is there someone bothering you? I can go blow them up with my dynamite!" he offered.

Tsuna shook his head nervously. "Oh, nothing's wrong. Please don't trouble yourself on my behalf."

His "right-hand man" frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, okay…"

Having obviously failed by being too blunt, Gokudera then dared Yamamoto to give it a try, and the three of them found themselves in the baseball player's sushi restaurant after school.

"Tha… thanks a lot for treating us," Tsuna said.

"Hey, no problem!" Yamamoto grinned.

"Yeah, friends tell friends what bothers them, right?" Gokudera said, looking at Tsuna.

'That was so obvious!' Tsuna, completely horrified at the other's attempt at trying to get information, thought. He gave them a fake smile. "Nothing's wrong. I just need more sleep," he lied.

"Oh, so that's what's wrong, and here I was thinking that it had something to do with the beach!" Yamamoto laughed.

"How the hell did you think of a beach?" Gokudera snapped at him.

"Oh, the baby told me that we're all going to the beach this weekend to 'bond' as a team. Isn't that great?"

"How come he doesn't tell me these things?"

Tsuna bid the two goodbye before they could pull him into another one of their "Who's the right-hand man?" arguments. He walked back to his house slowly, sighing every now and then to himself.

"Hey, what's wrong?" a voice asked behind him.

"Ah! Dino!" Tsuna exclaimed upon seeing his "big brother."

Dino smiled. "You have this weird look on your face."

"Ah, it's nothing."

"It's okay; you can tell me," Dino assured him.

Tsuna sighed again. "This weekend, Reborn's making us go to the beach."

"Wow, that sounds like fun!"

He frowned. "I have to convince Hibari-san to come… It's the beach outside of Namimori."

"Oh…." That explains it. Tsuna had to somehow convince the skylark to leave his paradise in place for a day at the beach in the next town. He didn't even know if Hibari went to the beach; the school prefect didn't seem like the type to go sun bathing or play volleyball. The two thought for a very long time, trying to figure out what to do.

"Wait! I have a plan!" Dino brightened up.

---

"Ah!" Tsuna ran with his Dying Will towards the beach in the next town over. He just knew that stealing Hibird's food was a bad idea.

Hibari chased Tsuna across town until they finally reached the border. To Tsuna's shock, the prefect stopped right at the border, looking at his feet.

'Namimori…' He looked up. 'Or…' It was a difficult decision. Should he stay in his beloved paradise of Namimori, or should he chase after the herbivore, beat him up, and then go back to Namimori?

Dino made the decision for him. "Kyoya!" his mentor called out happily, running to him. Unfortunately, there was no Romario in sight, and the Italian somehow tripped yet again and pushed the prefect over the border.

"Run Tsuna!"

As the two ran from the rampaging Cloud Guardian, Tsuna wondered if this was really the same as the day before when they were being chased by Gola Moska. He also reasoned to himself that since Dino already tripped once, there was no reason for him to trip agai… The Italian crashed into him and they rolled down the hill, coming to a stop at the base.

"Ow…"

"Hibari-san! Wah!" Tsuna scooted away on the sand as his Dying Will Flame went out.

"Congratulations." They all turned to see Reborn in a swimsuit relaxing on a towel. "Now clear the beach."

"Huh?" They finally realized that the beach was filled with random people relaxing on the sand and playing in the water.

"You can fight Tsuna in his Dying Will mode as a reward," the Arcobaleno said to Hibari.

The corners of the head prefect's lips widened to a small smile. "Okay."

Meanwhile…

"Do you think Tsuna forgot?" Gokudera asked Yamamoto as they waited outside their boss's house.

"Nah, maybe he's just trying to get more people to go. The more the merrier right?" Yamamoto answered.

"It's horrible! Horrible!" They saw a man run past them, dressed in his bathing suit and covered in bruises.

"Maybe it's a good idea just to call it off."

"Yeah…" Gokudera muttered. "Let's just let the Tenth sleep then. He did say something about not having enough sleep earlier."

So after that day, people began telling the story of how Namimori declared war on the neighboring city. Tsuna had the chance to spend countless hours "practicing" his negotiation skills by coming up with a coherent story of how exactly six hundred and fifty eight people ran out of the beach yelling about the same madman.

And Gokudera and Yamamoto? They never found out about the horror that happened that day. Blissful are the ignorant.

* * *

Note: Hello! Argh this song was so hard to write to. Every time I listen to it, I get inspired to work on my other fanfic instead of this one. Let's hope my iTunes will give me an easier song next time ha ha! Oh, and I give up trying to keep everything at two characters (come to think of it, only the first chapter had only 2 characters…). The two listed will be the main focus or have significant roles in the one-shot, but they won't be the only characters. I have a very hard time keeping Hibari out of the stories because he is so awesome XD.

So… (insert crying face) I don't think this is as funny as the other ones; I'll try harder with the next one…

Oh, and by the way, should I put a note at the end of each chapter of how the story is vaguely connected to the song?

Anyways, thanks for reading!


	8. The Kreutzer Sonata

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

* * *

_The Kreutzer Sonata_

Song: "Kreutzer Sonata" by Beethoven (This is a piano and violin duet. Read the note at the end if you dare.)

Characters: Dino, Hibari

---

Tsuna stared at the ticket Reborn just handed to him and the others. "Eh, why are we going to a concert?"

"As a mafia boss, you need to be exposed to a little culture," the Arcobaleno answered him.

"Beethoven's Violin Sonata No. 9…" Gokudera read his ticket. "8:00pm on Friday… Wow, we get our own box!"

"Gokudera, you like classical music?" Tsuna asked. 'Well, if one of us likes this kind of music, I guess it's okay then…'

"Are you kidding? Of course not!" Gokudera flushed, obviously lying.

Yamamoto chuckled, joining the others on their careful observation of the pieces of bar-coded paper. "Hey look at this. It says… 100,000 yen!"

"What?" Tsuna exclaimed, his yell shaking the house. Yes, each ticket is approximately 1000 dollars. "Why is it so expensive?"

"The performers are the best of the best," Reborn informed him.

"Who's playing?" Gokudera asked eagerly.

"You'll see," Reborn replied, smiling secretively.

---

Tsuna sat with Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Reborn in their little quiet box above the stage. The Arcobaleno had also "wisely" invited two of the other Guardians that were in immediate reach: Lambo and Ryohei. Of course, both were making enough noise to bring down the auditorium. Wait, did I saw "quiet little box"? I take that back.

"Sitting up here is so extreme! And we get to listen to extreme music!" Ryohei declared. "I am so extremely awed!"

"Stop overusing that word, Lawnhead!" Gokudera hissed at him. "And keep your voice down or we'll be kicked out!"

"Lambo-san will help!" The 5-year old took out a bomb from his afro to throw at the Sun Guardian.

"No Lambo!" Tsuna whispered, grabbing him and frantically tossing the lit bomb out the window in the hallway just outside of their box. A small explosion rocked the concert hall as Tsuna quietly slipped back into the box, holding Lambo.

"Don't make a sound for next two hours, and I'll give you candy when we get back, okay?" Tsuna attempted to bribe him.

"Okay! Yay, candy!" Lambo gave a last yell before becoming silent. Tsuna sighed. Meanwhile, Gokudera and Ryohei weren't doing anything to keep the other eyes from staring at their box.

The clapping started, and the two were in the process of throwing one another off the balcony when they saw the two performers walk out on the stage.

"Is that…" Gokudera sat back in his seat while Ryohei leaned out over the balcony to get a better view.

Tsuna couldn't believe it himself and finally had enough sense to actually read his program. "The Kreutzer Sonata by Beethoven, performed by…" He squinted. There was no mistaking the blond hair and the slightly visible tattoo on the hand holding the violin. "Dino?" Tsuna exclaimed, too surprised to bother reading the name of the pianist.

A flash of black hair, pale skin, and narrow, murderous eyes met the Tenth Vongola boss. "Hibari-san?" his voice would have echoed throughout the entire concert hall and alerted the ones on the stage if Reborn hadn't hit him on the head at the exact moment when the sound was just about to leave Tsuna's throat.

"Wait what?" Gokudera gasped.

"Ah, I didn't know they could play instruments," Yamamoto commented cheerfully.

"Play to the extreme!" Ryohei cheered them on as Gokudera hit him on the head.

"We're at a classical concert, not a rock concert you idiot!" the Storm Guardian hissed.

Hibari sat at the piano, adjusting the seat, which was much too high, while Dino prepared his violin. The former played a note on the piano, and the latter matched it, tuning his violin to the right key.

Tsuna and the others held their breaths.

Dino and Hibari took a breath. Music filled the room slowly, a slow, sorrowful melody from the violin. Tsuna finally let out his breath when the piano entered, just as slow, and perfect. There were no wrong notes, no messed up dynamics…

'I can get used to this,' Tsuna thought contently as he let the introduction of the first movement flow around him. Just as his eyelids were dropping, a sudden loud note from the violin followed by frantic staccato pulled him back into reality. It didn't help that the music began getting faster and faster, and Hibari's hands were all over the piano; even with Tsuna's heightened senses, he couldn't keep track of where the Cloud Guardian's fingers were.

"They're that good?" Gokudera gasped.

The music slowed again, and Tsuna wondered if it would continue like this for the rest of the movement. Just as he was drifting off into slumber again, the music blared and threw him back to the concert hall. He decided that he didn't really like classical music.

Eventually, the two finished, and the auditorium erupted in applause. Dino had to pull Hibari, who was blushing furiously, away from the piano to get his student to bow. As with many ideal performances, people were throwing flowers on the stage. This made our heroes in the box want to join in.

So, Ryohei grabbed a bouquet of flowers from who knows where and threw it down to the stage, narrowly missing Hibari.

"Wait, be careful!" Tsuna said to him. It was too late.

You see, Yamamoto also somehow got his hands on a bouquet of flowers, one of the huge ones people would normally NOT throw at stages. He threw it. At top baseball speed. It did not miss.

---

"Oi Kyoya!" Hibari heard Dino calling his name. He instinctually swung out and heard someone jump back. "Hey wake up!"

Hibari opened his eyes. He was back in his Disciplinary Committee room, lying on the sofa.

"Damn…" he muttered under his breath.

* * *

Yes! This entire thing was Hibari's dream! I really wonder why he said, "Damn," at the end though… Was it because he really wanted to play awesome piano or… ahem. Let me write about the Kreutzer Sonata a little. Erm… you have been warned? This is not my usual type of humor, but I find it funny. That is, if you read the story along with this background information in the next two paragraphs…

The Kreutzer Sonata, a piano-violin duet by Beethoven, was a strange piece of music in its time, because both instruments had important roles. Back then, they'd usually have the violin play the melody and the piano as accompaniment, but this Sonata deviates from that tradition in that both instruments kind of repeat after each other with the same intensity. Both parts are also pretty difficult to play.

Anyway, so then this writer called Tolstoy, who views music and the arts as distractions from life's true purpose, decides to write a novella called the "Kreutzer Sonata," in which he views the sonata as a "sexual sonata," because of the way the two instruments interact. He uses the Sonata in the story to signify the supposed romance between the narrator's wife and a violinist.

So… blah… Oh, I'd recommend listening to the sonata, first movement. It's beautiful XD. And it's kind of the only movement we studied in class (Russian Music and Literature; the music is Western, the literature is Russian)…

Ah! I know I'm recycling ideas (giant Hibird, people being thrown off the rooftop, now Hibari waking up from a dream like Gokudera did in the first chapter), but it's like Beethoven. Take one theme and play with it in different ways! Ah, I'm being weird, I'll stop.

Thanks for reading!


	9. Ryomeo and Haniet

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or "Romeo and Juliet," because the first one is awesome and the second… Okay fine. I prefer "Hamlet" over "Romeo and Juliet" any day.

Warning: Possible spoilers for chapters 152 and 231, but this is too crazy anyway.

* * *

_Ryomeo and Haniet_

Song: "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

Characters: Ryohei, Hana Kurokawa

---

"Two households, both completely insane,  
One day drew a line from one side of town to the other,  
From recent forgotten blood that was spilt,  
After dear Tsunayoshi tripped over a…"

"Wait a second!" Tsuna interrupted Reborn. "I know what's wrong with this story! You just said that the blood was recently forgotten, but then you started explaining how it got there in the first place!"

Reborn chuckled. "Silly Tsuna, this is a classic; you just have to assume that Shakespeare's logic makes sense."

"Uh… that isn't Shakespeare though," Gokudera said, putting on his intellectual glasses. "For one thing, you put the Tenth in the story, and what's the deal with drawing the so called line of separation with his blood?"

A whack on the head from Reborn's Leon slipper quieted the Storm Guardian. "This is an educational story."

"What's it supposed to teach us?" Yamamoto asked eagerly, grinning.

The sides of Reborn's mouth curved up mischievously. "Just be quiet and listen… and if you want, you can retell it to the others later…"

---

… After dear Tsunayoshi tripped over a random stick that fell from a sakura tree and knocked over a bucket of semi-water-soluble red paint which somehow drew a perfectly straight line across Namimori, effectively dividing the city into two halves. Fortunately, the mayor of the city, the revered and feared Hibari Kyoya, had been recently dragged out of town by a klutz of a foreigner for the duration of three weeks, and we still have two more weeks before his return. However, without the wise and wonderful mayor of Namimori, the Storm, Lightning, and Mist found themselves on the other side of the great line, staring back at their once-good friends: the Rain, the Sky, and of course, the Sun.

"Good job, Sky, you have permanently separated the two sides of Namimori," a little baby with a gray beard suddenly popped out of nowhere and dictated. "Now you must fight over strife long forgotten and not let the other cross the line."

Being the logical beings they were, they listened to the baby, because back then little babies with gray beards wearing little suits were the wisest of them all. The six former friends quickly got to work. On the East side, the Storm set up a roll of dynamite, hidden in the floor and set to explode if stepped on. He stood back, admiring his work, while the Mist created giant illusionary guard dogs along the entire width of the border, and the Lightning sat by a nearby tree and picked his nose.

Meanwhile, on the West side, the wise Rain scattered baseballs all over the floor so that any intruders would somehow trip over the massive spheres, invisibly white against the black road, fall on their butts, and die from embarrassment. The Sky, who was wholly responsible for this mess, went home to rest, and the Sun, who, while he didn't have the brains of the other members, had a heart of fiery passion, waited at the border, prepared to keep watch day and night for any signs of intruders.

Thus continued the stalemate for another twenty-four long hours until the Rain came running towards the Sun excitedly, a piece of paper in his hand.

"Hey Ryomeo!" the Rain called out happily. "Did you hear? There's going to be a party at the East side tonight! We should sneak over and see how the others are doing!"

"I can't go!" announced the Sun proudly. "I must guard this border day and night to the extreme! Thou can go without me!"

"Oh, alright, but I'm bringing Tsunayoshi then," the Rain said, frowning.

That night, the sky darkened and rain and thunder poured over the Sun, soaking him to the bone. He still stood at his post firmly and unwavering until about midnight, when he became sleepy and fell asleep.

The next day, the Sun woke to the Rain calling his name desperately. "Ryomeo!"

"Huh?" the Sun answered sleepily as he sat up, realizing that some kind soul had thrown a warm blanket over him, followed by a tent to block out the rain.

"Tsunayoshi! They've taken him!"

"What? We must get him back! This means war!" he jumped up. "Wait! We can't cross the line!"

"The rain shifted the line last night! Look!" the Rain said eagerly as the two ran outside the tent. Indeed, the red line was now blurred and _everywhere_.

"Hey!" a voice made them look up. It was the Storm. "You're in our territory!"

"No, you're in our territory," the Rain yelled back cheerfully. As the two argued, Ryomeo looked absentmindedly to the side and noticed two girls walking down the street.

"My sister has defected to the other side!" he yelled, flustered.

"No, you Lawnhead!" the Storm broke out of his argument with the Rain to insult him. "Your house has always been on our side!"

"Hey! How was the tent?" the other girl called out when they spotted Ryomeo. "You were too heavy for us to move, so we just put up a tent around you."

"Uh… th… thanks," Ryomeo answered, blushing.

"No problem," the black haired girl said, grinning.

"Don't stay out too late again," Kyokobalt said to him before they left to go shopping.

Ryomeo stared after the two until they were gone. "I'm in love to the extreme!" he announced passionately, yelling to the sky. Not the kidnapped Sky, the blue one in the atmosphere made from light refracting off of particles floating…

Anyway, meanwhile, the Rain and the Storm began arguing again about the ruined line when a black limo pulled up onto the street. The door flung open, nearly snapping off its hinges, as the passenger stalked out of the vehicle and headed in the direction of the nearby high school. He suddenly jumped as something exploded from underneath him, getting out of harm's way just in time. The newcomer made to land on one of the dogs that had made a beeline for him, bearing its teeth hungrily, only to fall through the animal since it was an illusion. He landed on a baseball and suddenly the world turned up-side-down as he hit the floor, flat on his back.

Hibari Kyoya slowly got to his feet, a maniacal grin gracing his wise features. "I'll," the mayor said the wisest words of the day, "bite you all to death…"

---

"A looming war this morning with it brings;  
The Sun, for tonfa-earned injuries, will not show his head  
Since it is covered by bandages:  
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;  
But don't tell the Cloud or else…  
For never was a story of more woe  
Than this of Haniet and her Ryomeo."

The three stared at Reborn. "Didn't you learn a valuable lesson from this?" the Arcobaleno asked.

"What happened to all the drama? Where's the tragedy, the irony, the death?" Gokudera exploded.

"I don't know," Reborn shrugged. "I heard this story from the Ninth."

"What about Juliet?" Tsuna asked. He hadn't read the actual story before, but he was sure that there was a character called Juliet.

"She was there. Haniet, remember? The one Ryomeo falls in love with," Yamamoto said.

"Huh? But nothing much happened! You only mentioned her name once at the end!" Tsuna exclaimed.

"Of course something happened. Ryomeo went a ball, fell in love with Haniet the moment he sees her, and then stupidly kills her relative in a duel for killing one of his relatives in another duel because he himself had refused to duel Haniet's relative in the first place. They exile Romeo, and then instead of running away like the should've done from the beginning, Haniet develops this elaborate plan using poison and fake deaths, which ends in tragedy because Ryomeo somehow fails to receive the letter that dictated the plan and Haniet goes through with the plan without making sure that Ryomeo knows about it and at the end they all die," Yamamoto said in one breath.

"That's not what Reborn said…" Tsuna muttered.

"I was certain I heard that…" Yamamoto replied, grinning. "Oh wait, I think Reborn said that Hibari killed them all instead of them committing suicide. It's the same right?"

"No!" Tsuna and Gokudera exclaimed in unison.

* * *

Note: Okay, this makes absolutely no sense. I've been drowning in college, so sorry about the quality of crack. Thanks for reading!


	10. Six Ways the World Could End

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

Note: This happens in the TYL Arc.

* * *

_Six Ways the World Could End_

Song: "End of the World" by Ayumi Hamasaki

Characters: Vongola Decimo, Guardians (See, it's still 2 characters! Well… there are others…)

---

Method 1: Via Hibari Kyoya

"Kyoya, I know you don't like listening to authority, but I'm sure that you knew better than this! Dino yelled as the two ran at top speed away from the propagating mass of spikes behind them. "How much Flame did you put into the Vongola Box?"

Hibari smirked. "Enough."

The two jumped into a ditch "conveniently" placed there for them, just in time to escape the expanding hedgehog. They looked up as the purple spiked surface covered the opening of the ditch, sealing them off from the world outside. Sounds of smashing rocks and trees echoed from the forest Dino had chosen for them to train in.

"So…" Dino began nervously. "How long is he supposed to propagate?"

"Long enough to destroy Millefiore," the other answered, yawning and stretching out on the dirt floor to take a nap.

"Kyoya, that's on the other side of the world…"

Hibari stared at him for a second before shrugging and turning around to sleep. "At least there won't be any more crowds after my hedgehog's finished."

_Death by indifference._

---

Method 2: Via Sasagawa Ryohei

"So this is the new weapon I've developed for Vongola," Giannini announced proudly as Tsuna and the others stared with awe at the massive machine.

"What does it do?" the Tenth Vongola Boss asked, a little nervous about the answer. He admitted that the inventor had greatly improved these past ten years, but once in a while, he would create something completely unnecessary and sometimes downright dangerous. This was one of those times.

"It's a weapon," Giannini replied, "capable of destroying the world in the blink of an eye. I've managed to combine technology with nuclear physics and…" Tsuna zoned out to the rest of the technical lecture of the great and awesome machine before him. Another problem bothered him now. Thankfully, Gokudera spoke the mafia boss's mind for him; after all, what are right hand men good for but to help destroy another subordinate's happiness with reality?

"What the hell do we need a world destroying bomb for?" Gokudera burst out.

"Against our enemies of course," Giannini answered innocently, completely unaware of the direness of the situation if the weapon were to explode.

"And what would that do if we kill ourselves along too?" the Storm Guardian continued, annoyed.

Giannini contemplated this for a moment. "I suppose you're right. I'll start disassembling it tonight after the meeting. So…" He pointed at a shiny red button next to the machine. For some reason, important buttons that could mean the destruction of the world always had to be large, shiny, and red so that anyone with less than half a brain would eventually press it out of curiosity. "Just make sure not to press that button before then. It's the activation device."

Tsuna sighed. "Please remember, everyone."

"I'll remember to the extreme!" Ryohei declared; Tsuna almost swore that fire lit up in his Sun Guardian's eyes.

That fire didn't help.

"Thanks for offering to help me," Giannini said to Ryohei when they entered the room after the meeting. "It's a tricky business, but there are some areas where we just need brute force to pull the parts off… Wait, what are you…"

"We can just get rid of it by blowing it up to the extreme!" Ryohei yelled passionately as he hit the button of doom.

Thus, the Earth went up in flames not because our dear Sun Guardian forgot that the "red button" would cause the bomb to explode but because he forgot the explosion would wipe out the world.

_Death by forgetfulness._

---

Method 3: Via Rokudo Mukuro

Tsuna had always known that his Mist Guardian held a very special place in his heart for the mafia, so when it eventually happened, it didn't surprise the tenth boss of Vongola much. Rather, the only thing that shocked him was the method Rokudo Mukuro had finally decided to use in order to eradicate the mafia.

He decided that his dear Mist Guardian had finally snapped from the pressure; after all, Tsuna was pretty sure that Mukuro had screwed up and afflicted everyone else in the world with the illusion, instead of just the mafia. How did he know? He had seen at least three people accidentally walked into the road when the walk signal was red during his short trip to the grocery. They didn't meet pleasant ends. Another five had crashed into various lampposts and stop signs for no apparent reason.

At the moment, a man ran down the street screaming for someone to take the visions out of his mind, tossing himself over the bridge into the river below.

Tsuna frowned. Looking at pineapples floating in every corner of one's vision would make any human being crazy eventually, if they didn't die from crashing into poles they didn't see first.

_Death by insanity._

---

Method 4: Via Gokudera Hayato

"Die!" the Storm Guardian yelled as he tossed his dynamite at the enemy, infusing the sticks with Storm Flames. He miscalculated again as the bombs went everywhere and blew up a good chunk of the building along with the intended targets.

"Gokudera…" Tsuna began, frowning.

"Ah, sorry, it's just that I haven't used dynamite in so long, that I'm a little rusty," the other replied, blushing as he scratched his head.

"No… we're in a nuclear power plant. We're in the future, remember? So… energy in this age should be…"

"Boom!" Reborn said through their headsets.

"Don't worry, if something was going to blow up, we'd be dead already," Gokudera said confidently.

"Hey look! That stick's fuse is still lit!" Yamamoto said as he looked over the edge at one of the dynamite.

"I forgot about those…"

_Death by lack of practice._

---

Method 5: Via Yamamoto Takeshi

"_Shigure Souen Style, twentieth form…"_

"Rain brat, an attack that drowns both your enemy and yourself is not…" Superbia Squalo yelled as the two climbed a tree in an attempt to reach higher ground.

"I can't really hear you!" Yamamoto yelled back through the downpour he had created with his latest addition to his Shigure Souen Style.

"How long is this damn rain supposed to last?"

"Huh?"

"Voi! I said, 'How long is this damn rain supposed to last?'" Squalo yelled again, angry.

"Huh? I still have to work on it?" Yamamoto replied, confused. 'Might as well add more Flame to it then…' he thought as he fired up his Vongola Rain Ring.

"No!" The other swordsmen stared with horror half a second too late when he finally realized what his student was doing.

The water beneath them began rising as the sky threw rain like waterfalls at them and the ground became a gushing river.

Back at the base, Tsuna and the others looked up as the roof started leaking…

In Italy, one of the subordinates burst into Byakuran's room, a look of horror in his eyes. "Byakuran-san! We're getting a flood!"

Yamamoto Takeshi must have had a lot of Rain Flames…

_Death by miscommunication._

---

Method 6: Via Lambo (a continuation of Method 5 that makes it more concrete to ensure our worldly destruction)

"Yay!" Lambo said happily as the little droplets of water began turning into streams.

"Are we being flooded?" Giannini said, panicking. The water blew a hole in the room and began gushing in, threatening to cut off their air supply.

"Waterpark!" the young Thunder Guardian declared triumphantly as he floated around on one of the plates that had fallen out of the cupboard.

"Ah! We have to get out of here!" Tsuna yelled to the others before turning to Lambo to grab the 5-year old. "No Lambo! Don't…"

The cow-suited kid inserted his Thunder Flames into his Vongola Box.

_Death by stupidity._

* * *

Note: One more week before the end of my second semester! Thanks for reading!


	11. Desolation Bullet Revised

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Well, I'm currently at 517 songs on my iTunes so… this might take a while…

Note: Longchamp's "Desolation Bullet" makes the person shot lament over everything in his life in order to get other people to feel sorry for him, and, like the Dying Will Bullet, the person loses all his clothes save his underwear. Joy…

Warning: A small amount of cursing appears at the end.

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_Desolation Bullet Revised_

Song: "Wait for You" by Elliot Yamin

Characters: Tsuna, Yamamoto (and Hibari)

---

The Tenth boss of the almighty Vongola Famiglia let out a long depressed sigh as he threw his paperwork down on the desk.

"Tenth, I'll finish the work for you!" Gokudera, eager to show his status as the right-hand man of the Sky, offered.

Tsuna shook his head. "It's not that…"

"It's something trivial; just leave him alone," the Arcobaleno, now in his normal older form, said indifferently from the window, sipping a glass of sake specially imported from Japan earlier that day.

"Reborn!" Tsuna exclaimed. "How can something like this be trivial?"

"It is," Reborn replied coolly.

"What happened?" Gokudera inquired.

"Yamamoto…" Tsuna muttered. "I gave him a mission, and I didn't know that he had a baseball game on the same day."

"Huh? Couldn't you have just given the mission to someone else then? It's not like Yamamoto's that serious about things anyway."

"He didn't say anything and just left. He's probably mad that I was so inconsiderate about his baseball… He should've returned three days ago…" Tsuna began sounding a little strange to Gokudera, and the Storm Guardian tensed up as he went on high alert.

"You're overreacting," Reborn scolded. He paused. "I thought the effects should've worn off by now…" the Arcobaleno muttered thoughtfully.

Tsuna suddenly froze and pulled into a fetal position on his chair, rocking back and forth nervously. "He must have been so offended by my ignorance that he's left and never coming back! Ah! Why am I so useless? The world's coming to an end now!" he burst out in lamentations as Gokudera rushed to him, worried. "I've lost all meaning to life! I'm an incompetent leader!"

"Hey Tsuna!" Ryohei came crashing in through the door, finding a strange scene before him.

"Hey! Calm down! Tenth!" Gokudera yelled, trying to keep Tsuna from jumping out the window.

"Eh…" Ryohei began.

"I accidentally switched the Dying Will Bullet with one of the Desolation Bullet Longchamp's family send us the other day as a gift," Reborn explained, shrugging. "They've seemed to have modified it quite a lot. For one thing, the effects last a lot longer and are more severe, and the target doesn't lose his clothes anymore."

"My life is covered in darkness! There is no hope for me!" Tsuna repeated.

"Stop Tsuna to the extreme!" Gokudera heard a familiar excited voice behind him and braced himself for chaos.

---

"Ah, that was a good game," Yamamoto said contently as he left the baseball stadium, dragging Hibari along with him, who was in shock from the suffocating aura of so many people crowded into one place. The swordsman had effectively kept the other from killing or attacking anyone by hiding Hibird and promising to give the animal back to Hibari after they suffered through the game.

"That…" Hibari finally managed to mutter.

"That's in exchange for my mission, right?" Yamamoto asked, uncertain. "I didn't know how to thank you for taking out the target Tsuna gave me so fast in my place, so I figured that I'd pay for a baseball game."

"You know I don't like crowds…" Hibari replied as he glared at the swordsman.

"Aw, but it was fun, wasn't it? You even caught one of the home run balls and gave it to another fan!" To be exact, Yamamoto had taken the Cloud's tonfa away, and Hibari had seen the incoming baseball as a possible weapon. Unfortunately for Hibari and fortunately for the four people the ball hit after he chucked it into the screaming audience, the Cloud Guardian's throw wasn't as hard as Yamamoto's.

"Give me back my tonfa…" Hibari growled. "And Hibird…"

"Okay!" he said naively as he handed the tonfa back and produced Hibird from behind a tree.

Yamamoto Takeshi was well bitten to death a few moments later.

---

"Baseball Idiot!" Gokudera yelled as soon as the door opened to the main mansion. "Oh…" the Storm Guardian sighed when he saw Hibari instead of Yamamoto.

"Here," Hibari said neutrally as he held out the semi-conscious Rain Guardian to Gokudera on the back of Yamamoto's collar.

"Hey, what's up?" Yamamoto said, grinning with a dazed look on his face.

Hibari let go and the Rain Guardian nearly fell to the floor when Gokudera didn't catch him. Glaring, the Cloud Guardian stomped past them to the interior of his house, a happy Hibird flying after him.

"What did you do?" Gokudera asked, narrowing his eyes as Yamamoto struggled slowly to his feet.

"Ah, I took Hibari to a baseball game after kidnapping Hibird in order to thank him for doing my mission when I went to another earlier baseball game," the other replied, grinning.

Gokudera stared at him for a second. "I'm just going to pretend that I didn't hear that… Anyway, Tsuna…"

"Ah, Yamamoto!" Tsuna yelled from behind them when he saw the Hibari-inflicted wounds on the Rain Guardian. "You tried to commit suicide! It's all my fault!"

"Wait, Tenth!" Gokudera yelled after him as Tsuna ran upstairs, only to be caught by Ryohei.

"I caught him!" the Sun Guardian yelled to the others below.

"Yeah I know…" Gokudera muttered to himself, sighing.

"Uh… what happened?" Yamamoto asked, confused.

"Tsuna got shot by the Desolation Bullet and he's stuck in that mode…"

"Oh…" Yamamoto put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe we can…"

"What the hell?" they heard a strange yell from the other side of the house, cutting Yamamoto off.

After a few seconds of silence, Reborn ran past them, an amused look on his face. "So the bullet reverts back to that old effect if the person has nothing to lament… interesting," they heard him say to himself before he disappeared behind a corner.

"I think we should run…" Gokudera said, paling.

However, they were already too late as Hibari ran into the foyer in nothing but his underwear, tonfa brandished and ready to kill. A trail of blood ran down his forehead, marking where the bullet had entered. The guardians stared at each other for a moment before Hibari narrowed his eyes, a blush creeping across his face as he snarled, "I'll bite you all to death."

* * *

Note: Ah, Reborn the scientist is dangerous he he.

I'm not completely sure about the translation of the name for Longchamp's bullet, but "Desolation Bullet" sounds better than the "Worry Bullet" they had on Wikipedia… So, what has this got to do with Elliot Yamin's song? Well… not much haha XD. I was just thinking of Tsuna doing the waiting for Yamomoto, who never gave him a chance to explain that he didn't know that there was a baseball game. Other than that, the rest of the story just kind of appeared as I wrote, so it's all kind of random.

As always, thanks for reading!


	12. Happy Birthday!

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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_Happy Birthday!_

Song: "Hitori Bocchino Sadame" by Takashi Kondou

Characters: Hibari, Hibird

---

"Happy Birthday Kyo…" Dino stopped as he noticed the lack of a certain birthday boy in the Disciplinary Committee room. "Eh, he's usually in here…" Dino frowned.

"I told you it was a Japanese national holiday!" Romario sighed, shaking his head.

"Aw, we have to go look for him!" Dino replied as he brandished a huge box wrapped neatly with wrapping paper and a ribbon, courtesy of Romario. "I must give Kyoya this at all costs!"

"Why do you sound as if your life depended on it?" Romario laughed.

"Uh… because I'd rather not be caught dead with this?" Dino replied a little nervously. "Wait, you didn't look in the box, right?"

"Nope," his subordinate answered faithfully while thinking about the gift that his boss had decided to get the young, yet quite unstable Cloud Guardian. That's right; our faithful Romario actually _looked _in the box! Well… actually, he just kind of stole a peak; that doesn't count. "In that case, maybe you should just leave that here."

Dino looked at the package, frowning. "Good idea. It might not be good for my health if I gave it to him in person."

Meanwhile, a certain Vongola-eventually-will-be-boss good-for-almost-nothing Tsuna decided to… wait, wrong word… was forced to go shopping for a gift for his _beloved_ Cloud Guardian by the great Reborn.

"Wait, why do I have to do this?" Tsuna asked the Arcobaleno as he stared down an aisle of cat food.

"You're the boss; you have to make your subordinates happy," Reborn replied.

"Ah, but Hibari-san would probably not want people crowding around him on his birthday," Tsuna sighed. "He can't even stand groups of three or more."

"That's why I've told the others that we'd be visiting him in pairs, given that we find him."

"Huh? Who am I going with?"

At that moment, Gokedera suddenly came crashing down from the ceiling. "I'll go with you, Tenth!" he yelled enthusiastically as the other shoppers ran away from the crumbling ceiling in a panic.

---

"Eh, sorry Tenth," Gokudera said, laughing nervously. Obviously, the shopkeeper had kicked them out of the store after the Storm Guardian had demolished half of the ceiling. Tsuna didn't even want to know what Gokudera was doing in the ceiling. "Don't worry! I've already bought both of our presents!" he said, pulling out a huge messily wrapped box. "They're all in here!"

"Huh?" Tsuna looked at Reborn. "Wait, you told everyone to get Hibari-san something?"

"Why not?" the baby replied, grinning.

"Ah," Tsuna groaned, putting a hand up to his aching head. 'I didn't want any injuries during this holiday!'

"What did Yamamoto get him?" Gokudera inquired curiously while thinking, 'Have to beat the baseball idiot!'

"I don't know," Reborn lied.

"Don't tell me you made this a game," Tsuna gasped.

"I did say that the winner gets 1 million yen."

"What?" Tsuna exclaimed.

---

Hibari yawned, hoping to take a much needed afternoon nap as he opened the door to his Disciplinary Committee room only to find a pile of presents on his desk.

'Did I forget something?' he thought as he cautiously prodded a strangely shaped package with the tip of one his tonfa. 'Oh yeah, today's my birthday.' Sighing, he decided to open the presents now and deal with each accordingly; it wouldn't look right if the others walked in later and saw the room filled to the brim with colorful paper and ribbons, something that didn't fit the school prefect at all.

Hibari picked up the package he had prodded and messily ripped the paper off to find…

'Pineapple…' He grabbed the discarded paper and found the small card with a messy, "From Mukuro," scrawled on it. 'Great… maybe I can throw it at someone; it's spiky enough.' He set the fruit aside and worked on the second present: a huge neatly wrapped box.

Minutes later, Hibari finally managed to free the ice cooler from Yamamoto from the massive amount of wrapping only to find an entire sushi boat inside, preserved by the ice. "Why is everyone giving me food?" he muttered.

"Because you're too thin," read the card from Reborn, which came with a hamburger by the way. Don't ask.

As predicted, Ryohei gave him a punching bag along with a note pressuring him to join the boxing club and a few protein bars. Hibari made sure to hide them from Hibird lest the bird decided that the steroid infused magical growth sticks looked too tempting again. It took Hibari a good two weeks to recover from his pet landing on him last time Ryohei fed the bird the protein bars.

Lambo gave him what looked like a half-eaten lollipop which he wisely threw away. Kusakabe gave him a pass to one of the quietest yet most expensive restaurants in town; Hibari allowed a small smile for his vice president's sensibility.

The second-to-last box was labeled from Tsuna and Gokudera and contained a huge pile of scientific journals. Hibari wondered if they would be a good addition to the school's library.

Apparently Gokudera did notice that the head prefect spent a lot of time reading; what he didn't notice was that it was just a journal of names that Hibari marked down for punishment.

Sighing with relief, Hibari finally got to the last box, which had a giant, "From Dino," splotched all over the top. He cautiously tore off the paper, stuffing it into his already dying trash can. I wonder if inanimate objects could get Dying Will Flames… wait back to the story. He took off the top and ended up staring speechlessly at the box's contents. A massive yellow pillow that looked suspiciously like Hibird stared back him with a small note attached to it which said, "So you don't have to keep on sleeping on the floor on the roof," to it.

---

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" a familiar chirp resounded on the school rooftop as Hibird flew down to the sleeping prefect. Hibari held out a finger for the little bird to land on as it continued singing the birthday song it had probably picked off somewhere.

Hibari smiled before he closed his eyes to continue his much needed nap on his new pillow which he decided only to use today since he was sure that no one would go to school. "Thanks." He decided that wasting food was better for his health, having eaten everything that the others gave him since he couldn't get the school refrigerator open. 'I think I'll just sleep it off for a few days…'

* * *

Note: Ah! I should really be working on my 12 page essay right now, but its Hibari's birthday, so I had to write XD. I'll probably, most likely not, fix this later cuz I really rushed it. By the way, who do you think won the contest?

Anyways, thanks for reading!


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